10 Reasons you're not an Olympian
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Everyone loves the Olympics! The pageantry, the athleticism, getting behind your nation, getting behind someone else’s nation. For those few magical weeks every 4 years, the world is united in sport.
This year, Paris is the place to be. But instead of valiantly striving for Olympic glory in the city of love, you’re watching the games from the comfort of your couch. Why? You’re a gorgeous specimen, you were sculpted from the image of Gods, yet still you were left behind. Here at The Comfort Co we know “it’s not you, it’s them.”
Here’s our (and probably your) top ten reasons you’re not at the Olympics:
1) The Politics
When you broke the under 7s high jump record and your local athletics club, the world was at your feet. The future was bright and there was no limit to what you could accomplish…
But then those politics set in.
For some reason Timmy Jones was going to regionals instead of you?
It might have been due to institutional bias, favouritism (his dad was the coach), or the financial support he had over you (Mum said you couldn’t do both and had to do swimming instead next term). Whatever it was, you caught a lesson on the ugly side of elite sports that day and your Olympic dreams were tarnished forever.
There’s no politics in going for a walk, and it’s a great way to keep fit. Your Olympic dreams may be on hold, but your health shouldn’t be. Get to Vitasole to get the right shoes to stay active.
“I would’ve made it if it wasn’t for the politics.”
2) Your bad ____ (knee, back, shoulder etc.)
Maybe you waded past the political minefield that befouls everything behind the curtain of elite sport. Your Olympic dream was all encompassing and nothing would stand in your way.
That was until… It happened. A day that, if “they” knew your potential, would be etched into the echoes of history forever more.
There you were at the top of your game, an impending icon, a future star. When it all went wrong. You slipped on the track (because the track was dodgy), or were hit with a dirty tackle (by an even dirtier player). Whatever it was, it changed you forever. You were left in a haggard pile of the athletic hero you once were, and never truly recovered.
If this was you, even if you’ll never reach the fame and fortune you deserve, there’s no reason why you can’t keep doing it for the love. Grab some supplies from OS1st at The Comfort Co and get back out there!
“I would’ve made it if it wasn’t for my bad _____.”
3) The Olympics has weird events
Chances are, you’re PROBABLY reading this blog as an elite athlete. But for SOME REASON the Olympics simply doesn’t feature your sport.
One of the big reasons we love the Olympics is that it’s a chance for us to dive into some of the weird and wonderful sports from around the world that we’d otherwise never give the time of day.
But unfortunately, that’s not your sport.
They’ve got to make room for BREAKDANCING instead (disclaimer* we’re actually very excited for breakdancing, and cannot WAIT to watch it. We just had to make our point, and it is pretty weird).
With so many sports coming and going from the Olympic schedule seemingly at random it can be tough to pick one which will launch you to Olympic gold.
…There’s always 2028 we guess?
Want the edge at your non-Olympic sport? Carry your gear to game day with a Healthy Back Bag to help you be your best.
“I would’ve made it if the events weren’t so weird.”
*Note - The GIF below is from the very real "weird" sport Wife Carrying, it too is not an Olympic Sport... yet
4) You’re too focused on the next generation
You were almost certainly on your way. Your Olympic dreams were about to become reality but then you were hit with a “blessing” bundle of joy that manifested itself as a “curse” for your athleticism.
All of a sudden you’re on parent/coach duty ensuring that you’re protecting the future of elite sport. Don’t worry about that though, it worked for Richard Williams (Venus & Serena’s Dad) and he even got played by Will Smith in a movie.
(Does anyone else think it’s a bit of a stitch up that Venus & Serena’s Dad got a movie before they did?)
You’re selfless, you’ve made the ultimate sacrifice, and at the end of the day the country you love will have you to thank for its next generation of Olympic heroes.
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“I would’ve made it if I didn’t have kids.”
5) Didn’t start training early enough
If you’re one of the few people reading this who aren’t an elite athlete (yet) it’s just because you haven’t picked your sport yet!
Bad news, you’re prooooobably too late to get to Paris (trials were last week or something). But the good news is that the next Olympics is only 4 years away!
We know you’re an absolute athletic god, so it should be no problem to get the call up. However, you’re probably going to want to start training ASAP (just so you don’t forget to get selected for the Olympics again. Here’s a list (within a list) of steps to get you there:
- Choose Your Sport
- Assess Your Current Fitness Level
- Set Clear Goals
- Find a Qualified Coach
- Create a Training Plan
- Join a Competitive Club or Team
- Compete in Local and National Events
- Focus on Nutrition and Recovery
- Seek Sponsorship and Funding
- Qualify for the Olympics
If you’re going to get to the 2028 Olympics, you’re going to need some good shoes to get you there. New step one on the list: get to The Comfort Co and get yourself the right pair of super comfy shoes to propel you to greatness.
“I would’ve made it if I remembered the bloody thing was this year.”
6) Proper Nutrition is expensive!
The game has changed. Outrageous levels of natural talent and finesse simply isn’t enough to be great anymore. No longer can you pull a John Daly (show up hungover, drink heaps of beers, smoke a bunch of cigarettes and win anyway), now you’ll probably have to put in an effort. To fuel that effort, you’re going to need the right nutrition too!
But who can afford it?! With the cost of living rising year after year it is just getting too expensive to be a world-class athlete.
Can you hit your macros with two minute noodles? Probably not.
If times are tough the good news is that The Comfort Co has an absolutely terrific sale range. Or save money on the gym and just go for long walks instead! Many good walking tracks will have bodyweight gym machines on the journey too. Win win! Head to Vitasole to get yourself some Walkers then hit the track!
“I would’ve made it if I could afford to eat right.”
7) You want to give everyone else a chance
Every now and then society comes across someone really special. A selfless soul who puts the needs of others above their own in the pursuit of making the world a better place. Mother Teresa was one, Gandhi was one, the person reading this might just be another one.
You already have so much going for you! You’re smart, successful, athletic (and if we may say so ourselves, incredibly attractive). Adding “an Olympic hero” to that list would simply be rude at this point.
While sweeping your event, breaking records (and hearts) in the process, taking home the gold for your nation would be pretty fun, you want to leave it for someone else who really needs it, good on you.
“I would’ve made it if I wasn’t too busy being smart, attractive and successful.”
8) You want to learn the language first
Why would you go to Paris if you didn’t speak French? Millions of people have done it before, but you’re not millions of people are you? You’re someone special.
A few simple phrases; for example, bonjour, s'il vous plaît, donne-moi tout le fromage et le vin que tu as (give me all the cheese and wine you have) would get you by. But you want to immerse yourself in the culture to give yourself the true authentic Parisian experience, and that’s fair.
The good news is, you won’t have to get relentlessly hassled by Duolingo notifications for the next Olympics as it takes place in Los Angeles! You’ve just saved yourself a job! Now you can focus on your training.
It sounds like you’re a real jetsetter! Keep yourself safe on the flight with some travel socks from OS1st.
“I would’ve made it if I spoke the language.”
9) You don’t want to be an Olympian
TWENTY EIGHT Olympic medals. 23 Gold, 3 Silver & 2 Bronze. No, we’re not talking about the overall medal tally of a mid to high-range Olympic Nation. We are of course, talking about the man, the myth, the legend, Michael Phelps.
Michael has a record that should be untarnishable, but as lots of us would know, it wasn’t.
In 2009 a British tabloid published a photo of the greatest Olympian of all time Michael Phelps with a bong (a water pipe used for smoking cannabis). For most people, this fairly innocuous revelation would be like water over a swimmer's back. But with Phelps, the world went nuts and he’s still remembered for it.
Would you want to live with this level of scrutiny?
We wouldn’t either.
We’ll just watch them from the couch please. And when we do, we’ll do it comfortably wearing a pair of cushy, but supportive slippers from The Comfort Co.
“I would’ve made it if I literally didn’t want to make it.”
10) Can’t afford the equipment
High level athletic equipment can be really expensive. This is obviously true in events like the kayak or equestrian. But it can be surprising in the less geared up events too. There’s more to being an Olympic sprinter than running really, really, REALLY fast. A good pair of sprinting shoes could cost you HUNDREDS of dollars.
This financial outlay may be a bit much for us when you think about the return. Of course, you get your moment in the sun every four years, but is it worth it?
We think we’d rather just get the most versatile trainer in the market, The Vitasole Walker, and do things our own way.
“I would’ve made it if the equipment was cheaper.”
Conclusion
You may not be heading to the Olympics this time around, but that’s okay.
The life of a high performance athlete isn’t for The Comfort Co. anyway. We’re not for “athletes”, to us if you can walk, you're an athlete. We want to make every step a comfortable one so you keep making them. Whether that's the step over the finish line in a record breaking 100m sprint, or the final step of your walk to the shops.
Wherever you are on your fitness journey, a budding Olympian in the making, or a person just looking to make it out of bed for your morning walk. We’re right there with you. Keep walking, for as long as you can with The Comfort Co.